Cave Girl

Ladies and Gentlemen, cleanse your palettes and get ready to do some taste testing! There's one wonderful constant in my every single day and that is.....FOOD! You got that right. I attribute that to being born a Taurus who exhibits an almost stereotypical Taurean love of food. But not just food in and of itself. Home cooked  savory, melt in your mouth, healthy goodness in every bite. Now brace yourself… Due to food allergies, intolerances and a general demand from my body systems, the gourmet food of my today is permanently gluten free; mostly dairy free and soy free; pretty much sugar free; always, always, always certified organic; ideally locally grown/produced if possible; and ok fine, I'll tell you........... soon to be 95% grain free. That's right. I'm goin Paleo on y'all. The cave girl has arrived.

What on earth is Paleo? I heard ya, don't think I can't hear you mumble under your breath. Don’t get all weird on me now. Trust me, I don’t hold any steadfast beliefs about what our ancestors ate (which is what the ‘eating paleo’ principles are built upon) nor do I really care. I respect those who are vegan or vegetarian.  And even those who don’t really care what they put in their mouths. Before I go into details, let’s just say that this is not a quickly passing fad or a diet of the month. No, this is a lifelong commitment and it will take whatever form in which my body does its best work. That’s right, this way of eating has been shown to significantly improve or even cure or prevent many diseases like ALS, MS, Diabetes, Cancer, Depression, Anxiety, Autism, and Auto-immune disorders.

I'm going to mix the Terry Wahls diet along with several different versions of Paleo to get just the right proportions to allow for optimal body and mind functions. And that means saying good bye to the world of grains. Good bye rice. So long gluten-free oatmeal. Farewell to thee potatoes. Too-dah-loo corn and legumes. Let it be said that I bid adieu to wheat and barley almost three years and I don't miss them at all, pretty much because any time I ate them my body reacted by covering me in a disgustingly itchy blistery rash. However, other grains became my staples in their absence: especially the rice flour I used for baking and making gravy to top my pot roasts, and aahhhhh, those fresh organic corn tortillas. I may mourn for those.

To fill the aching void in my heart (and stomach), I vow to indulge in 4-5 cups of vegetables per day (pretty easy to do once you get the hang of it), grass fed/organic meats, hopefully gag down some organ meats, seaweed (which I get in my raw sauerkraut - a blog post for another time), munch dark juicy fruits like berries and eat healthy fats like coconut oil and avocados  WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!! FOUR TO FIVE CUPS OF VEGETABLES A DAY?? ARE YOU FREAKIN CRAZY????? Hell no, I'm not crazy and that's actually where the fun begins. Those vegetables need to be cruciferous in the form of dark green and leafy; sulfuric vegetables like cauliflower, and brightly colored vegetables that come in hues of oranges, yellows, maroons and reds. And baby let me tell you that any vegetable lightly cooked with some garlic makes me feel like I've died and gone to heaven.  Things will not be boring folks. This cave girl loves Bacon. Everything tastes better with bacon, especially that luscious thick cut pork from my sister’s organic pig she buys each year. The other day I cooked the world’s most misunderstood vegetable - Brussel Sprouts. I love ‘em with all my heart and soul. Just imagine them with a little pancetta. Oh my.... what a beautiful pairing that made. I think it was Fran Lebowitz who said: 'Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.’

I WANT TO DO THIS. In fact, I've been sorta doing it a little more than half-assed for over a year now. And that's because I had surgery, have auto-immune issues like food allergies and my digestive system is sluggish and skeptical about what to do with the grains I feed it. And of course, like everyone knows... dairy, sugar and grains interfere with the body's healing process and depress the immune system allowing for disease. If I'm going to allow my beloved body to heal completely then by golly I've got to only put in it what will speed that process along. Plus, I've got to be absolutely sure that I age the way nature intended and not by the will of corrupt food industry (that is a topic for another time --- or blog post!). 

What will I do with the other 5% of my dining time? Let’s just say I completely subscribe to Virginia’s Woolf’s declaration ‘One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well’. Yep, you betcha, what’s the fun in life if you can’t still splurge, in moderation of course, in worldly delights. Luckily, I can. Although I know some folks whose bodies don’t run that way.  I vow to still go out to my favorite pizza parlors to enjoy a wonderfully mouthwatering gluten-free pizza, perhaps once in a while I'll treat myself to a Burgerville Tillamook cheeseburger wrapped in lettuce with sweet potato fries, and I will still of course always, always, always drink my wine and indulge in appetizing cocktails. Didn't someone’s God say 'Let there be wine'? …Er, uh, maybe that was something else, but I SAID it so I will make it so! I’ve never been one to commit myself to anything rigid that allows for no errors or wiggle room.  Just like religion, I take bits and pieces from what I know to build something that works for me.

I’ve been desensitized. I’ve felt the negative effects of my unhealthy food choices. And after a few trial separations, it’s easier now for me to turn down what used to literally be impossible to resist.  It’s an essential part of my Taurean being that I pamper myself with good eats. I’m just a little wiser about my choices now.  I will post pictures of these edible paleo delights and share my journey. We won't always talk food here but since food is many times my wonderful, trust me; it will be discussed from time to time. After all, as B.W. Richardson said, ‘Preserve and treat food as you would your body, remember that in time food will be your body’.  I know, right? ‘Nuff said.